I Will Go... |
7-27-17
What... I only have 12 days left?? Is that even possible... As the days get closer and the time to leave approaches, I have begun to feel more and more inadequate in going. Satan has really been trying to make me feel like I can't do this, I am not prepared enough, I won't be a good teacher, I won't make an impact on the students, or I will have problems with my health. I know these are all lies he is trying to deceive me of so that I won't go. Yet I know that I am suppose to be there. God has made it so clear that I am meant to be at Las Palmas through so many things falling together perfectly that only the Lord could orchestrate. Last night I got the opportunity to share with the worship band at my local church about this call God has placed on my heart. I wasn't expecting to get emotional at all but everything just hit me while I was talking. The fact that I have so much to do before I leave, that I am actually leaving, and just a sense of 'is this real?' popped into my head. I am so blessed I have such amazing supporters through my friends and family that I can lean on. After I finished speaking, I got to listen to some of their practice but one song in particular stood out to me. I Will Go by Big Daddy Weave. This song seemed to fit exactly and resonated with me. "When You call my name There's only one reply No I won't wait I'll give You my whole life I will go where You send me To the ends of the earth Just say the word and I'll go I will go where You lead me I'll follow Your heart Wherever You are I'll go" I just couldn't help thinking that I have said yes to God and now I am going. I am giving Him this phase in my life and allowing Him to lead me. I want to make an impact and show the world His great name. I just have to keep my head up and trust that He knows where He is leading me. I only have to say that I will go. Please continue to pray for me as I get closer and closer to August 8th. Satan is continuing to throw those darts and I need as much prayer as I can to help me remain grounded in His truth these next few days. Thank you so much! |
8-27-17
I can't believe my last post was just a month ago. To think that when I wrote that, I had not moved to the DR yet but now I have been here a few weeks now. I have completed my first week teaching at Las Palmas and wow am I blown away by how amazingly supportive everyone has been. I have been welcomed with such open arms and I can't thank God enough for that. This first week was definitely crazy and different but so worth it. My students are wonderful and so sweet. I can't wait to teach them this year. Of course they have fallen in love with Pete the Cat ;) It has been so rewarding to touch lives. Even though there is a lot to learn in being a teacher and how the school runs, I am still beyond thrilled that I have the chance to make an impact in these students lives. I am so glad that I can freely share the love of Christ openly in the classroom. I am interweaving the Bible into all my academic lessons. I am amazed by this because in public schools you don't get this opportunity. I ask you to be praying for the students in my class who I have the chance to impact everyday that I am there. Some don't even know the Lord and some go to church but don't truly know the gospel. God placed each individual in my room and He knows that I need them and they need me. I have been trying to meditate on Galatians 2:20 recently. Galatians 2:20 "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me". God just brought this verse to me which I am still trying to figure out why. Yet I feel like He is speaking to me a lot lately that it is Him that lives in me. I am to use Him that is within me to reach these students by showing them His mighty love. I have been learning how much that I am not my own and that I need to be using every part of me to reach these kids. God loves each one of them so much more than I could ever comprehend. Then to think that He loves me more than my parents could, more than others in my life, how is that love possible? Because He created us, because He knows us and gave Himself for us. I just am awestruck by this. I know I need to stand in awe of this more. Lately I have felt myself being very overwhelmed and busy with all the things I have to do, want to do, and just all around getting everything done. I know satan makes us busy to distract us and push us away from the Lord. I just ask for your prayers as I continue to learn this culture, the way teaching works, and just all the new things being thrown my way, that I could make sure to lean on Him in the midst of it all. God has big plans for this year, I know He does! I can't wait to see how He continues to use me. I can't thank everyone enough for the consistent support and prayers. These mean more than you'll ever know. If you want to contact me, don't hesitate to send me a facebook message! To God be the glory! |
Adaptation
9-24-17
I can't believe yet again I have had about a month slide by without writing a post. This month sure has been crazy with the amount of hurricanes that have blown through here. When I said yes to God's call to the Dominican Republic, I did not even think about hurricanes that may come through. We have successfully made it through Hurricane Irma and Hurricane Maria. I have now had to set up my classroom 3 times... wasn't expecting that either! But hey its all for the Lord is what I keep telling myself :) Maria left more destruction in her wake than Irma had but thankfully nothing was effected in San Pedro. The neighboring city where our sister church is located got more destruction. It has been a privilege to work together with my church here in San Pedro to help support those who lost so much from the hurricane. As a community, we all pitched in to help those who need it. I am so blessed to have a church body that loves the Lord and is an example of Christ.
To be honest, this month has been tough for me emotionally, physically, mentally, and just all of the above possible. I have had many moments where I feel like I have crashed and burned. I have doubted myself, told myself that I am not good enough, and just have listened to all of the lies satan has been shoving in my face. He sure is good at that.... Even though I know in my heart they are all false, I can't help but believe each and every lie he keeps dangling in front of me. I am one of those people that is very hard on themselves because I want to be perfect (even though I know this is unattainable). I have been struggling so much with comparing myself with others and their ability. I know, yet again, that this will not help me in being effective in ministry nor will I ever be like anyone else because I am the only Jessy there is. Yet satan just has been excellent at twisting my thoughts into ones that are making me feel alone. I didn't really think that I felt alone until a friend had mentioned it to me. Now realizing it, I really do feel like satan has made me so busy with trying to be perfect at school and then making me feel like I am worthless that I have dug myself into a hole of being scared and alone. My dear friend shared with me about how I need to learn how to cast my cares on Him fully and completely. I need to lay it ALL down and let Him be my refuge. This may be easy to say, but to actually try to put this into practice is a whole other story. From hearing this, I am beginning a new start to trying to lay all my cares at His feet each morning. I appreciate any prayers over this that you may have. I know that God is teaching me some hard lessons in this new culture but I was definitely not expecting anything like this.
I am so thankful for a God though that has shown me His incredible blessing through little things that have happened or people that I have gotten to know so much better while I have been here. I am so grateful for those who have given me a listening ear and advice on how to navigate this life here in the DR. I definitely can't say I am perfect in any way, but I just keep praying with my whole heart that my students can see Jesus in me. This is all that I long for because otherwise there isn't a purpose. All we need is Him. Nothing more, nothing less. I just desire my students to seek Him with all their lives.
This month has been a whirlwind and has flown by in a blink of an eye. So much has happened. I truly can say that I am missing my family, close friends, and especially my kitties! Yet I know He has me here for a reason and a purpose. Not only have the hurricanes stirred up excitement but I also lost one of my big toe nails accidentally from one of the kiddos in my class. So it has been a month of craziness, that's for sure. God has repeatedly shown me in many ways that I need to just turn to Him in the midst of it all. I am finding that so hard to actually do because I just find myself not knowing how to let go of that control. With being brand new to teaching, it has been hard for me to understand how to even begin let alone trying to teach these students discipline that is way against what they have been taught for years at home. I just have been struggling with finding that balance of how to be tough but also showing them love. There are just so many more things that I know that I have to wait and be patient on the timing of the Lord. I just want all the answers now of course ;)
I just ask you to continue keeping me in your prayers as I learn how to give everything to the Lord and I literally mean EVERYTHING to Him in that I can allow Him to win my battles. I ask that you be praying that I could allow Him to be my refuge in everything. I love any notes of encouragement, so if you feel so led, please send me a note through facebook or email. I know that God is doing a mighty work and that He is molding me in new ways. They are just tough growing pains.
I can't thank everyone enough for the support you have given me! Thank you for loving me as I try to love on these kids here!
I can't believe yet again I have had about a month slide by without writing a post. This month sure has been crazy with the amount of hurricanes that have blown through here. When I said yes to God's call to the Dominican Republic, I did not even think about hurricanes that may come through. We have successfully made it through Hurricane Irma and Hurricane Maria. I have now had to set up my classroom 3 times... wasn't expecting that either! But hey its all for the Lord is what I keep telling myself :) Maria left more destruction in her wake than Irma had but thankfully nothing was effected in San Pedro. The neighboring city where our sister church is located got more destruction. It has been a privilege to work together with my church here in San Pedro to help support those who lost so much from the hurricane. As a community, we all pitched in to help those who need it. I am so blessed to have a church body that loves the Lord and is an example of Christ.
To be honest, this month has been tough for me emotionally, physically, mentally, and just all of the above possible. I have had many moments where I feel like I have crashed and burned. I have doubted myself, told myself that I am not good enough, and just have listened to all of the lies satan has been shoving in my face. He sure is good at that.... Even though I know in my heart they are all false, I can't help but believe each and every lie he keeps dangling in front of me. I am one of those people that is very hard on themselves because I want to be perfect (even though I know this is unattainable). I have been struggling so much with comparing myself with others and their ability. I know, yet again, that this will not help me in being effective in ministry nor will I ever be like anyone else because I am the only Jessy there is. Yet satan just has been excellent at twisting my thoughts into ones that are making me feel alone. I didn't really think that I felt alone until a friend had mentioned it to me. Now realizing it, I really do feel like satan has made me so busy with trying to be perfect at school and then making me feel like I am worthless that I have dug myself into a hole of being scared and alone. My dear friend shared with me about how I need to learn how to cast my cares on Him fully and completely. I need to lay it ALL down and let Him be my refuge. This may be easy to say, but to actually try to put this into practice is a whole other story. From hearing this, I am beginning a new start to trying to lay all my cares at His feet each morning. I appreciate any prayers over this that you may have. I know that God is teaching me some hard lessons in this new culture but I was definitely not expecting anything like this.
I am so thankful for a God though that has shown me His incredible blessing through little things that have happened or people that I have gotten to know so much better while I have been here. I am so grateful for those who have given me a listening ear and advice on how to navigate this life here in the DR. I definitely can't say I am perfect in any way, but I just keep praying with my whole heart that my students can see Jesus in me. This is all that I long for because otherwise there isn't a purpose. All we need is Him. Nothing more, nothing less. I just desire my students to seek Him with all their lives.
This month has been a whirlwind and has flown by in a blink of an eye. So much has happened. I truly can say that I am missing my family, close friends, and especially my kitties! Yet I know He has me here for a reason and a purpose. Not only have the hurricanes stirred up excitement but I also lost one of my big toe nails accidentally from one of the kiddos in my class. So it has been a month of craziness, that's for sure. God has repeatedly shown me in many ways that I need to just turn to Him in the midst of it all. I am finding that so hard to actually do because I just find myself not knowing how to let go of that control. With being brand new to teaching, it has been hard for me to understand how to even begin let alone trying to teach these students discipline that is way against what they have been taught for years at home. I just have been struggling with finding that balance of how to be tough but also showing them love. There are just so many more things that I know that I have to wait and be patient on the timing of the Lord. I just want all the answers now of course ;)
I just ask you to continue keeping me in your prayers as I learn how to give everything to the Lord and I literally mean EVERYTHING to Him in that I can allow Him to win my battles. I ask that you be praying that I could allow Him to be my refuge in everything. I love any notes of encouragement, so if you feel so led, please send me a note through facebook or email. I know that God is doing a mighty work and that He is molding me in new ways. They are just tough growing pains.
I can't thank everyone enough for the support you have given me! Thank you for loving me as I try to love on these kids here!
Expectations
11-12-17
Clearly I fail at trying to keep up with my blog and I have yet let another month go by without writing a post. I thought I would be so much better at this but I can't keep up! Yet I was feeling like I needed to share a bit more about what is going on over here in the DR.
First off, it's already about a month away until I will be back home for Christmas. This seems completely unreal to me. I have felt like it hasn't been that long since I have been here but then it has also seemed like a long time too. I have learned so much about myself just by being here in this culture. Trying to just navigate the newness and uncertainties of daily life. I sure have had some hills and valleys as I have been here. Yet I still feel the Lord tugging more and more at my heart each day as I make my life here.
Since I wrote last, God really has been teaching me about having expectations and how this is not a good thing. I have had many expectations that I had unconsciously had before coming here rear their heads the longer I have been here. I am learning how I can't have expectations because this only leads to disappointment in the end. I am learning how I need to just take every day as its own and just walk in the path that God has for me moment by moment. I can't expect anything or feel that I deserve something because of who I am. I didn't think I had these expectations in me until I have been here long enough to let them come out. I know that I will continue to learn more and more as I am here but I am trying to tell myself that I need to just focus and keep my eyes on Him.
Lauren and I are heading to the capital once again on Tuesday to try and secure our residency here in the DR. This has been one trial that has been ongoing for some time now and has been quite the process. I am praying that this third time is the charm and we can finally be done with this craziness. But as I have learned to have lower expectations that it will all go the way that I want. Yet I know God has a plan for all of this.
Additionally, God sure has been showing me how much I had depended on friendships and family members to keep me above water and to give me the advice I needed to hear. But I have been learning just how much God has stripped me of all of my comforts and people I run to in order for me to draw closer to Him. I had not let God's word become the only voice I need to hear. I had come with the expectation that I would get so incredibly close with many of the American's here but I have found myself feeling alone than actually loved on. Which I know is mainly satan's desire to make me feel alone and be ineffective. But I know God is trying to teach me that I need to learn to be dependent on Him instead of anyone else. He is the only true source that we could ever want, need, or hope for! I know that I need to keep leaning on Him as I seek who I should be investing my time in. It is just difficult sometimes feeling like I am apart from the people who get me the most. But I want to remind myself that Jesus knows me best of all and I should run to Him always.
I do have to say though that I have been truly blessed with the friendships I have made here and the people who have taken the time to get to know me. I can't thank God enough for giving me people who want to love on me and ask how I am doing. I have enjoyed being a part of small groups and time with those who desire the Lord. I am encouraged as God continues to provide just what I need but I also want to learn how to depend on Him for all I need ultimately.
I ask that you continue to pray for me as I conclude out this last month before heading home for break. That I would continue to keep my eyes on the Lord and make sure to show these students just how much they are loved by our Lord and Savior. I ask that you pray for me with the uncertainty of residency as well as the cost that is has for all the documents we have had to obtain. It has been way more than I was anticipating on doing before coming. Yet the Lord has been so faithful in providing. I can't thank you all enough for your support, prayers, and encouragement through my time here. A major prayer request I have though is that I have to decide by the time I come back in January if I am coming back next school year. I ask that you pray for guidance and wisdom in my decision to stay or what God is calling for my life.
Thank you for all you do as you shower your love on me! Keep praying for my students and their hearts for the Lord. Oh how we all need Him.
Clearly I fail at trying to keep up with my blog and I have yet let another month go by without writing a post. I thought I would be so much better at this but I can't keep up! Yet I was feeling like I needed to share a bit more about what is going on over here in the DR.
First off, it's already about a month away until I will be back home for Christmas. This seems completely unreal to me. I have felt like it hasn't been that long since I have been here but then it has also seemed like a long time too. I have learned so much about myself just by being here in this culture. Trying to just navigate the newness and uncertainties of daily life. I sure have had some hills and valleys as I have been here. Yet I still feel the Lord tugging more and more at my heart each day as I make my life here.
Since I wrote last, God really has been teaching me about having expectations and how this is not a good thing. I have had many expectations that I had unconsciously had before coming here rear their heads the longer I have been here. I am learning how I can't have expectations because this only leads to disappointment in the end. I am learning how I need to just take every day as its own and just walk in the path that God has for me moment by moment. I can't expect anything or feel that I deserve something because of who I am. I didn't think I had these expectations in me until I have been here long enough to let them come out. I know that I will continue to learn more and more as I am here but I am trying to tell myself that I need to just focus and keep my eyes on Him.
Lauren and I are heading to the capital once again on Tuesday to try and secure our residency here in the DR. This has been one trial that has been ongoing for some time now and has been quite the process. I am praying that this third time is the charm and we can finally be done with this craziness. But as I have learned to have lower expectations that it will all go the way that I want. Yet I know God has a plan for all of this.
Additionally, God sure has been showing me how much I had depended on friendships and family members to keep me above water and to give me the advice I needed to hear. But I have been learning just how much God has stripped me of all of my comforts and people I run to in order for me to draw closer to Him. I had not let God's word become the only voice I need to hear. I had come with the expectation that I would get so incredibly close with many of the American's here but I have found myself feeling alone than actually loved on. Which I know is mainly satan's desire to make me feel alone and be ineffective. But I know God is trying to teach me that I need to learn to be dependent on Him instead of anyone else. He is the only true source that we could ever want, need, or hope for! I know that I need to keep leaning on Him as I seek who I should be investing my time in. It is just difficult sometimes feeling like I am apart from the people who get me the most. But I want to remind myself that Jesus knows me best of all and I should run to Him always.
I do have to say though that I have been truly blessed with the friendships I have made here and the people who have taken the time to get to know me. I can't thank God enough for giving me people who want to love on me and ask how I am doing. I have enjoyed being a part of small groups and time with those who desire the Lord. I am encouraged as God continues to provide just what I need but I also want to learn how to depend on Him for all I need ultimately.
I ask that you continue to pray for me as I conclude out this last month before heading home for break. That I would continue to keep my eyes on the Lord and make sure to show these students just how much they are loved by our Lord and Savior. I ask that you pray for me with the uncertainty of residency as well as the cost that is has for all the documents we have had to obtain. It has been way more than I was anticipating on doing before coming. Yet the Lord has been so faithful in providing. I can't thank you all enough for your support, prayers, and encouragement through my time here. A major prayer request I have though is that I have to decide by the time I come back in January if I am coming back next school year. I ask that you pray for guidance and wisdom in my decision to stay or what God is calling for my life.
Thank you for all you do as you shower your love on me! Keep praying for my students and their hearts for the Lord. Oh how we all need Him.
Change and Growth
2-11-18
Well this has been a long time since I have added to my blog. So no better time than now to add something new. Many of you saw my winter newsletter so that at least updated you on what has been going on down here in the DR. I am so grateful for all the love and support I continually get. It seriously means the world to me knowing that I have a huge support system that is praying for me and allowing me to teach these kids about Him. You are a piece of a huge picture that God is creating down here and for that I am so blessed.
God sure has been bringing a lot of change for my family with my dad retiring, my parents moving out of the childhood home I have known, and seeing where my parents will begin the second half of their life. It has been difficult for me to be here during this season of change even though I know that God has big plans for them when they aren't sure what they are yet. I keep praying that my parents can listen to where God is leading them to be in this second half and that they can listen to His will for their life. I can't wait to see what He has in store for them next even though it is hard for me to see this huge part of my life change before I head back for the summer. Everything I knew will be different but I am learning to try and depend on what God has in store. I know that a house is just a place and the memories will still be with me but it is hard saying goodbye to a place I called home for 14 years. I believe that God is teaching me that your home is the people you are with, not the place. I just thank God for the place I was able to call home for so many years and for all the lessons that I learned while being in that house. I had many hard lessons during the past 14 years and I had many peaks that I ascended with Him by my side. I know that He has hills and valleys for the rest of my life but I am so happy to know He will be holding my hand every moment. Lately I had been reading about how He has us go through hard times in order to strengthen us in Him. I know that He is strengthening me for something that is coming in the future. I may have no idea what that is right now but I know He is preparing me.
God has really been teaching me how much I need to be focusing on His will for me and not trying to plan so much. I feel like I want to have complete control and know what will happen so I make the plans I believe are right when in reality only His plans will be perfect. I can never be that perfect individual that satan makes me feel like I must measure up to. I feel like God has been pushing me to grow so much more in Him and to try to push aside those lies by discovering His truth. This is difficult for me because I tend to get caught in the lies of my mind but I have been working hard on trying to focus my mind on His truth. God has also revealed to me how everything we could possibly think of or do, He has answered in His word. We just have to look for the answers. I know I am horrible at looking for the answers for the lies when I know I should. Yet I have been learning how much that is needed in my life.
Additionally, God has been teaching me about how to balance my life and how important that is for me spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I know I have a long ways to go, but I am working on taking steps to have a healthy balance in my life in where I don't tire myself out and make sure to give Him the attention He deserves. A big point that hit me today at church was that God desires that relationship with us and wants us to spend time with Him just like we do with others. How can we know Him or be His friend if we don't give time to Him like we do our family or friends? I think I tend to give Him the time but it isn't the kind of quality of time I do with my family or friends. I don't try to share and listen to Him but instead make it all about me. So I know I want to work on making my relationship with Him more of a relationship than me talking.
There have been many things He has been revealing to me lately. I am so thankful for the people He has placed around me in my life here to help me and guide me. Some have been helpful to point out what I keep telling myself to do but not changing. Also some who have just given me the truth when I need to hear it. I am so thankful for individuals who challenge me and help me in my walk with Him.
I continue to learn something new everyday with my students but I am still very thankful for each one of their lives. I can't wait to continue teaching them about Him. We have a major accreditation coming up at our school next week that the school has been working on for a long time now. I just ask that you be praying for this as we show these people what Las Palmas truly is and how the Lord is working.
If you ever have any questions or would like to talk, please never hesitate to reach out! Thank you all for the love!
Well this has been a long time since I have added to my blog. So no better time than now to add something new. Many of you saw my winter newsletter so that at least updated you on what has been going on down here in the DR. I am so grateful for all the love and support I continually get. It seriously means the world to me knowing that I have a huge support system that is praying for me and allowing me to teach these kids about Him. You are a piece of a huge picture that God is creating down here and for that I am so blessed.
God sure has been bringing a lot of change for my family with my dad retiring, my parents moving out of the childhood home I have known, and seeing where my parents will begin the second half of their life. It has been difficult for me to be here during this season of change even though I know that God has big plans for them when they aren't sure what they are yet. I keep praying that my parents can listen to where God is leading them to be in this second half and that they can listen to His will for their life. I can't wait to see what He has in store for them next even though it is hard for me to see this huge part of my life change before I head back for the summer. Everything I knew will be different but I am learning to try and depend on what God has in store. I know that a house is just a place and the memories will still be with me but it is hard saying goodbye to a place I called home for 14 years. I believe that God is teaching me that your home is the people you are with, not the place. I just thank God for the place I was able to call home for so many years and for all the lessons that I learned while being in that house. I had many hard lessons during the past 14 years and I had many peaks that I ascended with Him by my side. I know that He has hills and valleys for the rest of my life but I am so happy to know He will be holding my hand every moment. Lately I had been reading about how He has us go through hard times in order to strengthen us in Him. I know that He is strengthening me for something that is coming in the future. I may have no idea what that is right now but I know He is preparing me.
God has really been teaching me how much I need to be focusing on His will for me and not trying to plan so much. I feel like I want to have complete control and know what will happen so I make the plans I believe are right when in reality only His plans will be perfect. I can never be that perfect individual that satan makes me feel like I must measure up to. I feel like God has been pushing me to grow so much more in Him and to try to push aside those lies by discovering His truth. This is difficult for me because I tend to get caught in the lies of my mind but I have been working hard on trying to focus my mind on His truth. God has also revealed to me how everything we could possibly think of or do, He has answered in His word. We just have to look for the answers. I know I am horrible at looking for the answers for the lies when I know I should. Yet I have been learning how much that is needed in my life.
Additionally, God has been teaching me about how to balance my life and how important that is for me spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I know I have a long ways to go, but I am working on taking steps to have a healthy balance in my life in where I don't tire myself out and make sure to give Him the attention He deserves. A big point that hit me today at church was that God desires that relationship with us and wants us to spend time with Him just like we do with others. How can we know Him or be His friend if we don't give time to Him like we do our family or friends? I think I tend to give Him the time but it isn't the kind of quality of time I do with my family or friends. I don't try to share and listen to Him but instead make it all about me. So I know I want to work on making my relationship with Him more of a relationship than me talking.
There have been many things He has been revealing to me lately. I am so thankful for the people He has placed around me in my life here to help me and guide me. Some have been helpful to point out what I keep telling myself to do but not changing. Also some who have just given me the truth when I need to hear it. I am so thankful for individuals who challenge me and help me in my walk with Him.
I continue to learn something new everyday with my students but I am still very thankful for each one of their lives. I can't wait to continue teaching them about Him. We have a major accreditation coming up at our school next week that the school has been working on for a long time now. I just ask that you be praying for this as we show these people what Las Palmas truly is and how the Lord is working.
If you ever have any questions or would like to talk, please never hesitate to reach out! Thank you all for the love!